Outdoor Athlete

I climb a lot, and I still can't fully explain why it holds me the way it does. Every route is a puzzle you solve with your whole body, and the answer is never quite the same twice. Then there's the moment right before a hard move, when everything else goes quiet and you're deciding whether you've got it.

I've gotten better at being scared. That's the honest version of progress in climbing. The fear never leaves, you just learn what it's telling you and what it isn't. Some days that means pushing through, and other days it means coming down, and I've gotten comfortable with both.

What I love most is who I get to do it with. Tie into a rope with someone and you find out fast what they're like, and how you work as a team. A lot of my closest friendships have a pair of belay gloves somewhere in them.

Mount Baker is where I learned to climb mountains, and I still think about it more than I'd like to admit. The days start absurdly early, with a headlamp and a cold breakfast you don't want, and for the first hour you wonder why anyone does this on purpose. Then the sky starts to lighten over the glacier, your crampons are squeaking on frozen snow, and you remember.

A roped team moving across a glacier is one of my favorite things to be part of. Nobody talks much. Everyone's watching the snow, the weather, and each other, and it works because each person does their small part without being asked.

I spent a season guiding on Baker part time, which was a different kind of education. Climbing a mountain yourself is one thing. Getting someone else up it and back down safely that might be nervous, tired, or a little out of their depth, feeling like they did something great, is pretty special. I learned a lot about people up there, and a fair amount about myself.

The best part of a ski day is usually the first hour, before the sun's up, when you're skinning through the trees and maybe all you can hear is your breath, your own heartbeat, and the crunch of the snow. People think of backcountry skiing as the downhill, but the downhill is a small slice of the day. The rest is climbing, observing, and communicating with your group. Making sure everyone is working as a team, oriented to the conditions, and all on the same page is a challenge that can be a lot of fun when everyone is in sync.

Skiing has taken me all over the world to other countries with snowpacks I didn't know and languages I didn't speak, and those have been some of my favorite trips.